2005-07-03 - 8:09 p.m.
I'm Pissed.
Screw the fashion industry. Screw skinny people who are mean. Screw unrealistic sizes and cuts of clothing.
I am fully ready to admit that I am not skinny. College has not been nice to me when it comes to weight, as I have gained quite a bit since starting. However it is in college that I have started to wear cuter clothes and pants that actually fit and are long enough. But, do you know how long it takes to find clothes that fit me? FOREVER. Is that the reason that when I find jeans that fit I buy several pairs of the same style? Is that why I can count on one hand the places I know that I will be able to find clothes that fit?
I like to think that the pictures of hollywood "beauties" don't bother me and that I am my own person and I am beautiful in my own way, blah blah blah. Sometimes I don't think I believe that though. I know I am no beauty queen, but when I look at myself in the mirror i consider myself relatively attractive. My hair is my crowning glory, my smile is genuine and lights up my face, my teeth are white and straight, and my face is clear and needs little to no make-up. I look good in black, can pull off the "sports" look, and mostly don't really worry about what I wear because I know my sparkling personality will show through and it won't matter all that much what I am wearing.
It just irritates me that it's so hard to find clothes. I know I should work out more, drink less soda, and make some better food choices. But who wants to eat rabbit food and never drink anything but water for the rest of their lives? All in pirsuit of so called beauty? Thank you, if I am ugly then I guess I am ugly and happy. I bake cookies and cook wonderful meals that I share with friends. Food is a means of communication and love for me. I show my love through cooking for others. How dare hollywood try and take that from me!
So I guess I just have this to say: Fuck you hollywood for making me self-conscious, for making me doubt my body every day, and for making clothes shopping an almost nightmare. Fuck you...AND the horse you rode in on!
